Sunday, June 26, 2011

vent vent vent

I am a realist and I usually tell it like it is. In fact my friend M and I once had a conversation where she said that she would never say it like I do lest it hurt someones feelings. Well I have been known to tell it like it is and as my other friend A said that makes it very difficult to be friends with me. Even all this 'gentle' critisism has never stopped me from being a foot in mouth patient.

The thing is this: I don't always speak my mind. When I do, it's real and I try hard not to be scathing. My aim is to build and make stronger relationships. Similarly I am often at the receiving end of such critisism or realism and I take it in that spirit. I am judgemental about certain things and I don't make bones about that.

I do realise there is a time and place for saying things and there are always tonnes of things I am simmering with that I want to say but don't for reasons of propriety/ distance and becuase they are plain none of my business. There are things I wouldn't say but plenty more that I do. I have no doubt lost countless friends over the years with my talking ways but equally I have friends who appreciate or merely put up with my yapping. But with the longest dry spell this blog has ever seen I thought I'd say the top things I wish I could say right now but just cannot. What's the point of a blog eh?

1. I really really like you but your partner/ husband/ wife, not so much.
2. How come it's only ever me that calls? Or writes?
3. I have lost all respect for you as a person because of how you handle your children.
4. Does it all come down to money? How much you make and how much we make - such an unattractive discussion don't you think?
5. You left without saying goodbye or bothering to write after you reached your destination. More than hurtful it was rude.

Luckily none of the people these are aimed at even know I write a blog so I have no fear.

So it turns out I'm not a very nice person. Let the critisism begin.


  1. Hi 30in2005,

    Long time reader - delurking for the second time. I think the things you want to say dont reflect that you arent a nice person - they are things that all of us think of saying at some point, but bite our lips and smile.

    Anyway, I just wanted to say I really like reading your no-nonsense posts (even the bullet-point posts) and hope that your posting gets more frequent, even if the summer competes for your time.


  2. It really frustrates me to deal with points 2 and 4 because thts what I have dealt with..
    I feel like telling such people on their face...

  3. criticism...
    sorry, couldn't resist, just telling it like it is :)

  4. And I don't think any of your points are unreasonable. I would be pretty upset/angry too..I wish I had the courage to say it like it is to some people, but I just hate confrontations and avoid them even if it's a personal cost..

  5. What's to criticise?

  6. Quite incredibly, I have been doing a lot of thinking along these lines recently. The truth is, why are we friends with people like these in the first place? The ones that we can't be honest and ourselves with? Is this what life is about - biting our lips and carrying on smiling? We may not be very nice people, but we are honest and that's really saying something in today's world!!

  7. o damnnn .... ditto for the points !!

  8. If you posted those points on Twitter, they'd be called #slytweets :)

    Completely get what you're saying. Honesty in friendship can hurt but I'd rather have that than sugarcoat the truth.