Monday, May 16, 2016

In a mood

I was talking to my brother yesterday and he asked why I haven't blogged in an age. Where is the follow up Japan post? What's up? And my stock answer was I'm too bored; who cares etc.

But I got to thinking about it a bit later and realized that actually I'm in a 'mood'. A bad and fairly unhealthy mood. I'm too young (ok middle aged) to be in this mood. And I should be changing things that annoy me instead of indulging in 'what ifs'. I should be kicking away these crazy thoughts. Ones where everyone annoys me no matter what they say or do. Some more than others and with valid reason. Others just by their being Right. Here or Right. There. 

I have often thought I'm quite a happy person. I have literally nothing I can complain about with any real validity or without immediately thinking, 'Well that is just a not real problem compared to x, y or poverty and war'. I've often backed myself into the corner with one of my mini pity parties and given myself a mental dressing down till my sunny side has re-appeared. But I've also always been a person that can forgive but not forget. Lately though the dressing downs work for ever shorter periods and the pity parties have gone but I've wanted more than anything to air out all the 'not forgottens''. Hence the silence. If I don't watch it will probably say things I shouldn't and which really aren't problems but annoy me just the same. As my mother says, if you have nothing nice to say don't say anything at all. I need to break out of this funk. After all, summer is here and really, I HAVE NOTHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT.