To take action

Things I wish I could change or rather things I could definitely change if I moved my butt or unfroze from an internal paralysis:

1. Finding a job. It’s been 6 years. I’ve loved the un-adulterated time I’ve had with Kid but really it was time to go back to something/ anything about a year ago. And I know this is for the best because one day in the not so far future he will be at college and I cannot (or rather, should not) remain on my day bed watching excellent TV. 

1a. I have an updated CV - I’m just not sure what I want to do. Definitely not a business because that is not my thing - I’d never leave my house and my pyjamas would be my work wardrobe. 

2. Get some family pictures taken. V is not a fan of the idea of professional pictures. Heck he won’t even take pictures on his phone except of Kid and even those fleetingly. He is a great one for ‘savouring the moment and saving it in our minds’. I swear we’d have no photographs of our family if it weren’t for me and my iPhone. I wish I had one picture of myself that I truly liked. And even better one of the 3 of us in which I looked less like a photo bomber and more like I belonged. 

2a. And actually more than V, Kid and I, I wish I’d get organised and get some proper professional pictures of my parents taken. Possibly with me in them. 

3. Buy a new wardrobe; tame an old one. I’ll address the weight thing in detail in another post but suffice to say this is something I want to carefully consider now that the charm of my face is waning. What is with the forties that they take away that ‘freshness’? No fair. I want to find and organise beautiful clothes so that for any occasion I’m looking less like an unkempt pumpkin and more like I made an effort. Diwali and a wedding to attend winter have really bought this to the fore. It’s a huge mental leap more than anything - but one I really need to get my head around. I have a cupboard of things that do not work for weather, body shape, age and it’s about time I consider this gift to myself.