Memory Box 2

The year is 1986, early March. We live in a first floor dupleix 3 bedroom DDA colony flat, close to the colony gate. Like thousands of Delhi families our home bustles with activity each day. My father like many other middle income service people must trudge to office daily to earn an honest living. My mother has chosen her children as her priority over her job and is home when we leave for school and home when we get back, doing translations and editing part time each morning. She grows money plant in odd bottles, tidies after us, feeds us an innovative lunch (chicken in a basket is my favourite), gets homework on the front burner, reads to and with us, limits our tv viewing and encourages talking to each other instead.

My parents have the big bedroom beside the dining room on the first floor. The stairs curve upward from just next to their bedroom to the second floor. At the top of the stairs is a long thin corridor with a bedroom on the right and a bathroom in front. Turning left onto the corridor leads to my very own bedroom. After all at nearly 11 I am a big girl now and this merits my own space. The corridor has a wall on the right but the left is open and at night if I creep into the corridor and look down through the railings I can look right into the dining/TV room for the reassuring bulk of my parents. There is a balcony on the left just before my room and another smaller one leading off my bedroom. My bedroom isn't very big but it has a little store room attached to it which is full of boxes, suitcases and other stuff clearly not immediately needed. Mostly I like to think of my room with its many doors as my own apartment. I even make Nik knock on the door if he comes up to call me or play.

The news says that the murderer Charles Sobhraj has walked out of Tihar jail after drugging his prisoner and guard friends. If it is that easy what chance do any of us have? Tihar jail is at one end of Delhi. Since he escaped into Delhi and is most likely trying to get to the otherside of Delhi to avoid capture it is not unlikely that he is headed straight for our house. I am in Delhi, he is in Delhi, my house is the safest place I know, surely he must be hiding here!!! In the BOXROOM! on either of the BALCONIES! under MY BED! in MY CUPBOARD! OMG he is going to kill me next. Nothing will convince me to go upstairs on my own. Each time I go up a parent must accompany me. Fearless 4 year old Nik is not enough. To get my uniform, to bathe, to get my school books, to get my shoes etc. etc. etc. - I want a parent tail. And I will most certainly not sleep upstairs. Why heavens, he could burst in and stab me in my sleep! My parents bed seems like the best possible safe haven and that is where I shall stay till he is captured. Or I forget about him.

This is the life of an overimaginative child. Who has no 24 internet or TV newsfeed to update her on his whereabouts or hunt and capture in Goa. Only the once nightly Doordarshan news or the Times of India newspaper to wait for, to make the world a safe place once again.

Memory Box I

This is the last day my nani will collect me from the bus stop, bundle me into the car and drive me miles across the city to the hospital where my mum and brand new baby brother are. He is tiny and not shiny like a new toy. Instead he is all wrinkly and his hands are balled into fists. His tiny hands were joined at the wrists by a tiny piece of skin that he has now illustriously pulled apart, leaving little blue birthmarks that need to be observed.

My nani will sit with me in the hospital gardens and as we stare up at the big big building my six year old self is impatiently fidgeting for lunch. Everyday this week it is podi-sandwiches, a treat of thick white bread slathered with butter and sprinkled with tongue burning podi, clearly called gunpowder for a reason. If we were at home I would be made to eat something sensible that probably inludes vegetables, so I am relishing every bite of this forbidden lunch.

After lunch we will go in and see mama who is resting. And then walk to the nursery to look at the Nik through a window, lying in his bassinet, all bundled up. Even though I like coming here, in no small part because of the sandwiches, I want everyone to come home. This commuting is boring and takes away from my play time. Also I imagine my brother will instantly be a captive candidate for my endless games of teacher - student. A live one to make the dull toy dolls seem a bit more real and give my game some credence. Isn't that the entire purpose of having a sibling?

I clearly have no idea that I will get chicken pox within days of everyone coming home and be quarantined to my room across the hall. And that I will stand in the door every day demanding to know when the scabs will dry and fall off and I will be allowed to play with Nik. Agreeing uncomplainingly to another layer of lacto-calamine being applied. All this time I never realise that even once the quarantine has passed the Nik is not nearly big enough for my games. And when he finally is big enough I will have outgrown them. Childhood is fraught with random memories like this one.

The Five VIII

1. I'm ready for spring. Never have truer words been spoken. If I see another snowflake or sleet stone hit my windows before next winter I might scream. Long and loud. Not losing my temper as part of my resolutions is really hard to keep in sh*t weather where the grey outside sometimes tranfers itself inside. To remedy feelings of gloom I intend on planting some small evergreen succulents. And putting them on a high shelf where crawling creatures cannot venture.

2. This year I am all gung-ho about sending my friends gifts and random things in the mail. A few of them already got the scrummy little calender refills from etsy (although most were handed over in person). And now I have about 6 more ideas of things to buy online and get sent off directly. Wait for your birthdays or just random days for a surprise in the post.

3. The main idea of de-cluttering is not just to organise what we have stashed away like jewel thieves (mainly paper!) but to come to a path where I don't need to be surrounded by stuff stuff and more stuff. So I'm organising and getting filing for one but also abandoning a variety of things I can easily live without. It's difficult, this learning to live with what I need and only a little of what I want (i.e. not buying every beautiful thing I see to adorn shelves/ walls etc.) So throughout the year I am going to implement ideas to organise and de-clutter and to keep me on my toes I am going to blog it. And post pictures.

4. I was afraid to put this down as a resolution because I am pretty sure it isn't going to be an easy one to follow through. The bottomline is that I can no longer do without driving and after weeks of rubbish classes in India (which I never followed through) and a perpetual irrational fear of the roads, this is the year I am going to have to learn. I'm spending the first 3 months of the year psyching myself into it and getting on with some precursor paperwork that needs doing before I can apply but sometime this year I shall be behind the wheel of a car. I'm aiming to learn and get my licence before I turn 36 (in 2011, that's how long this project shall take I expect). Will you commiserate when I fail my driving test multiple times on the way?

5. I'm also startng a mini-series called Memory Box. I've had it in my head for a few years now (see, 2010 is totally about getting off my butt and follwing through!) to record incidents from my childhood before my brain caves in. I am also planning a paper version for my family in which I shall write down stories and incidents that are narrated by my dad and aunt. My first memory box story is already a draft.

Resolutions future: Blame Dell

So the next day or Sunday turned into way more than a week. But this time it is not my procrastination but the hellish customer service from Dell that is the reason for the silence. Here I was with my list of resolutions all ready to type away and start to follow through, partly attempting to guilt myself into doing something about them by the fact that I write them down and because last years were a washout, and I am usually very very good about resolutions. Of course the laptop refused to cooperate. It's given us problems from the day we bought the damn Dell. The keyboard is the main accused, with keys behaving errantly and causing words to come out looking all sad and misshapen. I won't bore you with more, I already chewed a whole bunch of people's ears with my miserable life. Anyway, it seems to work now and so here are my resolutions for 20-10.

1. De-clutter: Our house regulary looks like the paper monster came and threw up his lunch all over it. There is paper everywhere and no matter what we do it seems to never come under control. Of course now we have hideous plastic toys and furry animals and spilt biscuits to add to the mess. This year I will devise a workable filing system and get rid of as much unused stuff as humanly possible.
2. I will finish my scrapbook/ photo album which has been lying on the bookshelf, filling in pictures and ticket stubs etc that hark back to 2005. I will also get on with the new scrapbook that I enthusiastically started and have somewhat abandoned.
3. Lose all the weight that having a child has added back on. This will include going back to the gym with enthusiasm by April and not eating the dregs of leftover food. And abandoning chocolate and anything Ben & Jerry's (within reason of course; a gals gotta live a little!). So 20kgs lighter (and make no mistake I will still be grossly overweight!) by 31st december 2010.
4. Lose my temper less and count to 20 before I nag. Harder to quantify but I shall try try try to not sound like a whiny old woman. And I don't want to hit 35 and look in the mirror and see a curmudgeonly wizened hag.

That's it folks. 4 resolutions in what promises to be a busy year anyway. And this year I aim to meet them all head on.

Resolutions past

The first week of a new decade over and done with - a bit quick don't you think? All a giant blur in face of rubbish Dell laptop and endless screaming at their poor employees via phone while small child purses lips and refuses to eat ANYTHING. I can already see how the tone of this year, if not decade, is set.

So very quickly on resolutions past:
1. Learn to de-clutter: Tried. Valiently. But did not count on arrival of small person and all their clutter.My once 'good sized' home now looks like a small hovel made of hideous plastic toys and fluffy animals.
2. Read read read: Bought a second bookshelf. Unsurprised to find that it is already full. And I have stacks lying on the side, homeless. Not inspired to try much writing though. Have ideas but too chicken.
3. Treat my friends and acquaintances better: Was ruthless about people taking advantage, expecting me to call, takers not givers – I cut them out. And seriously pared down the ridiculous numbers on Facebook, giving email and the many phones their chance.
4. Host yet more convivial meals: More or less the same as the previous year which I came to realise was very hectic with socialising. More than I imagined considering the second half of the year brought us a whole new timetable and takeaway menus to keep up with the upkeep of a small child.
5. Slow down with the blogging. But try not to stop. Stop being obsessed by blogs. And by people who write them: Yes. Yes. Yes. And Yes. Although I was not much less harsh about other people's crap. Only now I do it in private and learn to temper my feelings with the 'to each their own' philosophy!
6. People watch: Failed miserably. Basically I have no time to stop and smell the roses. More like daipers these days.

Resolutions future is nearly there although not quite. List should be up tomorrow or Sunday. I guess not putting everything off all the time ( I have so many book and restaurant reviews in draft stage it is frightening!) should make that list....

The Five - VII or the New Year One

1. I have come to love this time of year in London despite the bitter cold. It's crisp (yes, I feel like a shivering lettuce when I am outside) but so long as it is dry I try and go out for a short walk each day. Of course we've just had two solid days of rain (drizzle) which were miserable but on the whole we've had more sunshiny cold than wet cold. We've already seen some snow and apparently there is more to come in the new year. Of course it is nothing like the States or Siberia but it is always amusing to see how 5 snowflakes cause an entire city to shut itself down. No wonder the world laughs at us when a bit of snow closes the transport system and has people working from home to avoid panic attacks of commuting in an already rubbish system.

2.This year, after 7 cold winters dealt with, a small miracle has occured in the 30 household. V turns on all the heating as soon he is awake. Yes, in every room. And encourages me to keep them all on till the house is like a mini-furnace by mid-afternoon. Now to people who turn their heating on in September and only turn it off in April this may seem like a non-event. But for the penguin that is V this is a total turnaround. Till the day we discovered that a child was on its way we never turned the heating on because it 'gives me a headache' (his mantra) and I should 'add some layers (my winter fashion look). Well, miraculously the headaches have vanished because house must be kept warm so said child can crawl around. If only my double socks, multiple layered person had known that it was a child that could procure me heating I would have had the child years ago!

3. We spent Christmas day as we always do, making and eating pizza and watching rubbish on TV. I had a glass of wine after about 4 years. Sort of went to my head but no hangover whatsoever. I shall be returning to the occasional social drink in 2010 after a long dry hiatus. Tequila shots here I come!

4. Unlike the past 7 years of New Years parties this year we are staying at home like boring old people. For one, most of our friends have gone out of town on exotic holidays - Boston, Spain, India and Argentina. Two, V would like to not have to host yet another party but instead stay home and play with his son. Three, I guess it's impractical to host a party for the 6 people who do remain in London considering we'd have to dumb it well down for the sleeping child. I have to say though that I am disappointed and sad for I love-hate hosting parties and look forward to this every year. Instead I will cook couscous with peppers and peas and bake chicken with lime and chilli for dinner and possibly have another glass of wine while watching the fireworks, to bring in the new year.

5. All that remains is to say that I am busy compiling my 2010 resolution list and going through last years resolutions to see how badly I fared. In the meanwhile I hope you have a splendid New Year party (think of me - grumpy old woman wrapped in blanket and with her bedsocks on by 10pm!). This is 30in2005, V and babyboy signing off for 2009 and wishing you the best, brightest, healthiest 2010 possible. See you on the other side!

Merry as wine

A break in my (slow moving, rarely read) Delhi stories to say Merry Christmas all.

At around 5am UK time, 10.30 India time, it will be 8 years to the hour that V and I stood in front of our closest family and friends and declared mental fitness to be tied in holy matrimony (the requirement of a public registered wedding!). Under a tree draped in strings of jasmine and terracotta lamps, on a glorious Delhi winter sunshiny morning, decked in finery and smiles so broad they contained our whole hearts in them.

Like every year between then and now we will celebrate with homemade pizza and wine, perpetuating a tradition we created for ourselves to mark the passing of time, the strengthening of bonds, the joy of our lives together and the anticipation of another year. Happy Anniversary V boy.

And if you celebrate it, Merry Christmas cyber world people.

Dilli Kahaani 2

I think I've said before that in our family it is the Nik who has the midas touch. Each year he plays cards before diwali, wins a s**tload of cash and then uses that (plus some) to do something house enhancing. In the crap construction of DDA it is only enhancements and continued bolstering that ensures the buildings remain standing or re-saleable. Last year it was pop (that's plaster of paris, not my father) and painting. This year, in anticipation of being a married man next year, it's fixing his loo and building a walk-in closet for his room.

In true desi style the builder promised a one month slot in which he would finish everything (before diwali) and of course nearly 2 months later when we arived things were more than a nudge away from being complete. It didn't help that only my dad was at home to supervise while the loud, bellowing, authoratative voice of my brother was sitting at work all day. So when we arrived in Delhi it was not to the room of my youth that baby and I settled. It was my parents room, thereby displacing my father who was more that happy to live with the gadgets in the TV room.

Once the dust had settled and every garment and shoe in my room (see I still refer to it as my room, even though it was always 'our' room and even though it hasn't been my room in about 8 years) had been washed/ drycleaned/ ironed/ scrubbed to a shine, we began the slow move. Of course not before we procured new matresses and unpacked our suitcases into the new shiny cupboards. This whole process took most of the second week and it was not till week three that the room was actually usable.

By the start of week two I had shed my sloth like avatar, comandeered the car and driver and was trying to leave the house each day, father, baby, car seat and 10 million pieces of equipment in tow. We had lovely lunches with my parents (kidnapping my mother from work), an afternoon with my cousin M & her two adorable children, and an afternoon with my school friends sitting around our living room and chatting nineteen to the dozen over chai. I read bundles of David Baldacci books each afternoon and night (the Nik has every single one) and ordered a different kind of stuffed paratha to be made by the cook each morning. I tell you there is almost no vegetable that man cannot stuff into a circle of deep friend cholestrol.

In the evenings, the Nik and P would entertain us with stories, gup-shup and the bubliness of youth (mainly funny noises which baby thought were hilarious) and sometimes their friends would drop by for a bit. We ordered in a variety of eats from momo's to kathi rolls to kebabs to ice cream depending on the day, mood and state of stomach.

It was a tiring week what with all the weeding and cleaning out, one final push before the room could take shape and the rest of the house and we could all settle in our respective corners. But it was that most pleasant of aches, where all the activity made for a little progress each day and a deep satisfied sleep each night.

Dilli kahaani 1

There is so much to tell that I think it is wisest I break it up into little stories. Also it's been over 2 weeks since we got back and it all seems a bit like a fairytale to me rather than a real life lived. Here goes.

My parents live in a DDA flat. For those non-familiar with the term, officially it stands for Delhi Development Authority. Unofficially, as my father succinctly puts it, it means lowest tender construction. It's a south facing ground floor flat, well proportioned but not of garangutan proportions. When we first moved to it in the early 90's even our school bus would not venture this far south. We had a private pool of parents taking on the resposibility of organising transport for school and lobbying for the windowless DTC buses to ply our way. It was a deserted shell of a colony and people stared in utter amazement and laughed out loud (at us, not with us) if I ever told them where we lived. It was akin to telling someone that we lived in the middle of the Thar Desert. Of course now it is considered a reputable outpost of south Delhi and with burgeoning Gurgaon to its south it seems almost central what with its endless malls and ridiculous rents and house prices. Who's laughing now?

It's south facing-ness with just a prk in front always made my parents feel like they had won the lottery. My brother and I used to grouse growing up that living at the back of the colony with wilderness in front of us meant that we lived at the southernmost tip of the southern end of Delhi. It also meant a 10 minute trudge to the bus stop each morning - and that meant a few extra freezing cold or burning heat minutes (depending on the Delhi season) than the oh-so-lucky kids who lived facing the front road. We hated it.

Well, now we have no one peeking into our house and the flat gets that delightful Delhi winter sun streaming through its large windows. And we have a park with somewhat mature foliage between us and the ample parking space. So I guess in some small way my parents did win the lottery. For the entire first week I stayed indoors, reading and napping and eating my way through anything made of flour and deep fried in butter. And most mornings I lay on the sofa chatting with my dad as he sat on the doorstep, reading and chuckling with the baby on his lap on the doorstep, soaking in the sun, listening to music on one of his many many music systems. After our whirlwind 4 weeks, 3 cities tour both baby and I needed it, that feeling of stopping and letting everything settle. It was a good week.

Waapas in London

It's been so long that I think I no longer know how to write or how to organise all the gazillion things I have to say to you my dear blog. That is what comes of a four week break in Delhi, at my parents home, where I don't have to think about what/ how to cook, when to do laundry, whether said laundry needs to be seperated into colours and whites, how clean clothes can be magically ironed or if I take a long bath will my kid bawl his lungs out. Bliss. So much 'breaking' in fact that I took long naps, read and chilled out at home for 4 straight weeks and as a result look like Goodyear blimp. I blame it on fried parathas for breakfast.

Of course we are waapas (thats 'back' for the non hindi speakers) and I am trying to adjust to the reality of cooking, laundry and the zillions of other small chores that need doing. Really a tough gig when all I want to do is crawl under the duvet at 4.30pm. Reality sucks.

Here's back to blogging more frequently. Already a 100% improvement from November. But I promise more Delhi tales and food stories.

What have you been upto peeps? Miss me at all?

The Five - VI

1. Done with Diwali for another year. The silks held up. Mainly because I wore them for a grand total of 45 minutes. It was blazingly hot what with all the diyas and lamps and Calcutta weather etc., so I breathed a sigh of relief when my MiL said I could go change after the puja. Dinner was scrumptuous (it always is in their home) - the highlights were badam halwa and dahi badas. The Kid slept through it all, not even stirring when the fireworks went off in the vicinity. I think he has my genes.

2. V left us at Calcutta airport for his long return via Mumbai to London. We took a much delayed flight to Chennai, port three in our round India visit. People were uniformly helpful, whether in their official capacities as airline crew/ staff or just as friendly passengers. The flight was fine and we got to sit in the empty business class section so that 'with a baby you need more space ma'am'. Great.

3. Chennai is lovely. My favourite city in India I think. Despite the searing humidity. I have the fondest memories of summer holidays with my cousins (although I think all we did then was fight!) and then of living here when I first tackled the corporate world as a youngster. The bonus this time has been the retreating monsoon - sheets of rain each night with that earthy smell accompanied by claps of thunder and bolts of lightening. We sit on the balcony in the generous swing and sway and chat while enjoying the sudden cool breeze. Simply lovely.

4. In food I am a confirmed idli and sambhar addict. I think everyone is quite sick of me and the amounts of sambhar I can consume. I have most certainly eaten my own weight in light fluffy piping hot idlis. I can bet you both things are off the menu for atleast a week once I have left. We try and go out for a 'chakkar' each morning. To a saree shop or Hot Breads or Landmark or just to drive past Marina beach where my grandfather used to take us as children for ice cream. Everything in Madras is for me suffused with a memory and I continuously chatter to my father and aunt ' oh this is where/ when/ how...... I feel almost like a child again, so many are my memories. But the reality is that I am grown and want my child to see somehow what my history is made up of. He is not being at all obliging - the second he is in his car seat he falls asleep thereby avoiding any of my lectures.

5. Finally, we leave for the last of our Bharat Darshan destinations tonight. Delhi, my original love. But Chennai you are a wonderful second. Besides seeing my family the great highlight has been the news of a baby boy born to my cousin A a day ago. It's been a wonderful, relaxed and happy trip so far (although I and the Kid miss V dreadfully). I expect my home in Delhi will make me yet happier if that is possible.

The Five - V

1. Never thought I'd get sentimental about a book. And more than want to, I feel compelled to review it here. For posterity. To remind myself how I felt when I read it. It's been over a week since I finished Fugitive Histories by Githa Hariharan. But it's left so many thoughts swirling around that even now I can't promise I'll be coherent. And since I'm on holiday there is not enough time for me to do this now. I'll wait for coherence and leave the writing till I am back. It's enough to say it is a wonderful book that brings home the fragility of life and the thoughtlessness and cruelty of human beings. It's a simply wonderful, tender-harsh book that I enjoyed immensly despite its great sadness and hurt.

2. We are in India. The first leg of the journey is over and we are in city 2 of 4. The long London - Mumbai flight was a doddle but once here adjustment for the tiny person in our midst has been fraught. He seems to sense we are away from the only home he has ever known and is both happy and sad and stressed and smiley. It's funny and difficult both.

3. Mumbai was quick but fun. We stayed home mainly and had loads of friends drop by. The cousins played and we ate some lovely food and took pictures and chatted till early each morning. I made a quick trip to a bookshop and bought 10 books - just the start of my book retail therapy.

4. Enjoyed a sudden Calcutta shower this afternoon from the confines of a covered balcony. What they call a drizzle is what we call a downpour in London. But there is nothing to match the smell that the first few minutes brings - fresh rainwater hits matti smell. Thereafter it is the smell of rubbish and water.

5. It's hot. In Mumbai and in Calcutta. Sweatingly hot. The kind which needs continuous air conditioning. Even though Diwali is just around the corner. I was complaining till V reminded me that I'm used to Delhi where winter is between Diwali and Holi and even though Diwali is super early this year I hear that already the Delhi nights are cooler. But Diwali is to be celebrated in the Calcutta heat this year. How will my silks hold up?? Report in the next Five.

The Five - IV

1. Why do I have no faith in the system? After I fought with the Bloomsbury aunty I was sure I would not get a replacement for my faulty copy of 'Burnt Shadows' by Kamila Shamsie. On Saturday, after a week drought of post, my brand new proper copy arrived along with 5 other awaited parcels of internet shopping. Am waiting to finish 'Fugitive Histories' by Githa Hariharan which is my current midnight feast before I get stuck back into the wonderfully compelling Burnt Shadows. So many books so little time.

2. Actually that isn't strictly true. I finished Zoe Heller's 'The Believers' in one night, a birthday gift from a friend. And then 'The Inheritors' by Neel Chowdhury in three nights. I would recommend both and have every intention of getting everything else Heller has written. She has a wonderfully descriptive way of writing, setting the scene as if the reader is a fly on the wall, urging the protagonists forward, cheering the underdog, debating every side of the story. Eminently readable. 'The Inheritors' was interesting in that it was about the high flying business and social worlds of Calcutta marwaris, a quantity unknown. But it had its shortcomings in the simplicity and neatly tied ending, which made it predictible after a point. Good not great. I find myself speedily going through my very diminished book pile at great speed. Cannot wait for my replenishment run.

3. Talking of replenishment runs, I am off to India for 7 weeks in mid-Oct. I intend to make use of all pampering facilities and extended jaunts to buy books for who knows when I shall have the chance again. My bags aren't packed but the collection of stuff to be carried is now living in piles on the bed of our guest room. To look at it one would think we were moving permanently, not just going for a bit. As for whether this mountain shall mould itself into our Samsonites with ease is a question that no one can reliably guess. We are taking bets as to how much excess baggage we shall have to shell out for and how much stuff we shall have to discard at the airport.

4. In India I am doing the bharat darshan version of things, introducing my son and relatives & friends to each other in Mumbai, Kolkatta, Chennai and Delhi. Varying days in each city but none so short or rushed that we shall feel harried or cheated. Numerous flights which shall be erased from memory no doubt by the wonderful hospitality of family in each port. For the first time ever V and I will vacation together in India, having 2 whole weeks in which we do not scatter around the country like headless chickens. Our speciality so far has been 8 day trips (3 in 2 years on average) where we travel the long legs together and then scatter, only to re-group 7 days later having given pieces of ourselves to various cities. Not so this time when we will spend the 2 weeks entirely together before I continue on to the last two cities for varying lengths of time with bubba in tow.

5. Sadly this trip will necessitate big changes to how much we manage to do in each place. No more scurrying around cities trying to see/ eat/ buy everything in sight. I figure that since I cannot/ do not want to go to the mountain, the mountain shall just have to come to me. So family and friends shall have to come see us and thanks to all that economical labour food too shall be delivered and/ or carted home when leaving home in the cold winter evenings with tiny person in tow no longer becomes an option. I look forward to staying indoors, warm and comfortable, with dvd's to watch, hot indian food to imbibe and gurgles to respond to. Shall I blog while I vacate mes amis? Or will I be revoltingly boring droning on about my wonderful vacation and should spare your sensibilities for when I am back to the hard edge of life in London? The honest vote is now open.

The Five - III

1. It's winter. Not autumn, just winter. Which is disappointing because either summer never really had a chance to settle in or I was too busy to notice it. There is a chilly breeze and mutliple layers including a jacket are now needed for adventures in the urban outdoors. We even had a day of lashing rain to bring the point home. The only redeeming features about winter are warm duvets and comfort eating. Hot chocolate anyone?

2. After a summer of visitors and the new addition to our busy lives, our home is now preparing for the long winter. The last of the parents or GOD (Grandparents on duty) as we refer to them, have left and we have been left holding a little boy whose new skill of smiling (and this time it isn't gas!) has us both enthralled. Life has changed immeasurably, it's a much tougher gig than before and at some level I miss the carefree life of coupledom where everything was about me and us. But as with all decisions in life that are taken and need considerable thought we knew this was the stage that awaited us. And although certainly different to our restaurant hopping, all day sleeping, much partying existance, this too has it immense rewards. Luckily there are friends with advice and plenty of Toblerone to see me through!

3. For a fair few years now I have always had the thought in my mind to be a kind, fair and good person - to think before I act. This does not mean that everyone I meet becomes my best friend or that I go around giving hugs to strangers on the street. What it does mean is that I endeavour to connect and do things for/with family and friends and give them the opportunity to reciprocate appropriately (not do things necessarily, but be there when I need them or atleast show a modicum of interest/ concern in our lives). Of late with a certain couple (family or friends I won't say) I have felt taken advantage off Both V and I have made every effort with them but there seems to be some coldness and aloofness building. Luckily for them (and me) I know my limits of bullshit-taking. I am fast reaching the point where after cajoling and then resorting to a sarcastic email I am at the end of the rope. I'm done. It's their turn and if they don't respond it's their loss. There are no second chances and I am clearly humanly fallible in that I cannot always be good and kind no matter how well intentioned I aim to be.

4. Finished all my books from Amazon. That's what a young baby who stays up a lot at night demands. Thankfully I shall soon be off to India where I can buy the next 25 books to read. In the meanwhile I am re-reading lots of old lovelies from my bookshelves such as Listening Now by Anjana Appachana and The Memory Box by Margaret Forster (next). And some books from previous purchasing jigs which fell by the wayside for one reason or another (the Harrowing by Robert Dinsdale, The Inheritors by Neel Chowdhury and Soul Mountain by Gao Xingjian) .

5. What with the 'wonderful' weather, little person, swine flu advisories and laziness/ exhaustion I spend most of my days at home. Changing diapers. And watching TV. And reading. And napping. And eating Toblerone. And Ben & Jerry's half baked I have strayed from my point. What I meant to say was, we get out a few days a week for a wander and a baby weighing but not much else. This means that I need to find things to occupy myself. Yay credit card era. I have spent the last few days indulging in the purchase of half a new wardrobe and am extremely pleased with myself. Of course it won't last, because everything will arrive and nothing will fit and then when it comes time to write the next five I will be all grumpy. What with clothes and weather, consider yourself warned.

The Five - II

1. It's been a slow news week. Actually it's been the wierdest kind of week, one in which I have had no inkling of date or day unless I look at a news channel on television. I feel like I am living in somewhat of a vaccum. And although I know this is only a temporary state (and clearly one for which no amount of preparatory talks are enough) again I have friends to thank for calling to check I am alive, awake and kicking!

2. Skype works and I have everyone of any importance in my life on it. The problem is that some people don't have camera's or good quality camera's which makes it a bit of a one sided discussion; it gets old fast when you can only see a static picture and/ or no picture at all. Then there are the vagaries of internet speed which picks on the streaming quality making transmission shaky and unpredicatable. And finally the timing of getting to see/ chat with anyone is down to luck/ texts/ calls to get people online. When it does work though it is a joy to see smiling faces. In one case we will be conferencing a whole bunch of spread out family once a week so everyone can see everyone. This Sunday is the trial to see if it works for 4 sets of us simultaneously across countries and time zones at a pre-arranged time.

3. Not much by way of snail mail but I did get a host of books I ordered online, all neatly boxed up. Here is what is on the midnight menu for the next few weeks: The weekenders: adventures in Calcutta by Bella Bathurst, A good Indian wife by Anne Cherian, (Un)arranged marriage by Bali Rai, Tales from Firozsha Baag by Rohinton Mistry, Swimming Lessons and other stories by Rohinton Mistry, Such a long journey by Rohinton Mistry, The Cardamom Club by Jon Stock and In times of Siege by Githa Hariharan. By way of explanation on the Rohinton Mistry's, I have read them all ages ago and the copies are living in Delhi adopted by my mother. I need my own and to refresh my memory with these wonderful books.

4. I had a huge fight with somebody at Bloomsbury. I was reading 'Burnt Shadows' by Kamila Shamsie (one of my favourite authors) and suddenly the story made no sense. It was 3something am and I was somewhat sleep deprived so I thought it was just exhaustion playing tricks with my eyes. When I went back to it the next morning it still did not make any sense. Turns out the book has been wrongly bound and has huge chunks of pages missing - just when it was developing the most intriguing of turns. Anywho, I called Bloomsbury's complaints department and the long and short of it was that they wanted me to go return the book to the vendor I pruchased it from. When I pointed out that it could have been at an airport on another continent or a gift from someone the woman thought I was not being 'accomodating enough' at which point I lost my cool and pretty much yelled at her. I have to send her the book and a replacement will be posted. I have her name and her supervisors number so I'd better get it back in a hurry!

5. My new favourite ice cream is called half baked and has among other things brownies and cookie dough in it. We don't readily get cookie dough in London, or if we do I haven't seen it. I also don't know anybody who uses it so I would ahve no idea what to do if a roll of it came and thwacked me on the side of my head. I know it from the serial 'Friends' and am intrigued by how it can be eaten raw or baked. I want cookie dough.

The Five - I

1. If statistics are to be believed apparently I can no longer be counted upon to come up with cogent posts worth reading. So for the forseeable future I will be making these mini-lists of Five. Feel free to ignore me.
2. I have become the scatter-brained woman who neither brushes her hair nor bathes till all hours of the day. I blame it on the baby who does not yet have his own blog to defend himself.
3.The best books for midnight reading are the non-heavy paperback kind that can be held with one hand. This week I have finished the 4 Ox-tales books: Water, Air, Fire, Earth - each a series of short stories by remarkable writers. Loved most of the stories. Should I bother with a review?
4. Have discovered that homemade garlic ciabatta's are the stuff of evening snacks especially on days when it is raining. It's also something that everyone will happily eat without comment or advice on how to make it better. Take one ciabatta, slice through, butter on both sides, sprinkle chopped garlic, dill and chives, wrap in foil and refrigerate or freeze. Then bake at 180 deg preheated oven in foil for 22 minutes direct from freezer or 18 minutes from the fridge. Slice while hot and eat while hot.
5. I have installed Skype much to the delight of my parents who NEED to see their one and only grandchild gurgle and coo in order to be able to sleep each night. And introduced my in-laws (staying with us) and V's brother in Singapore to it as well - so all grandbabies can be seen across the world. Everyone is behaving as if they have just discovered electricity.

ThirtyFour

My how time flies when you’re changing diapers (yes, British people I am using Amriki Ingles – I say diapers; somehow nappy just seems not to flow off the tongue as easily).

I’m going to finish this post today come baby bath time or bedtime. It’s been circulating around my head so long that it’s demanding a post code of its own. So 34 points, no order, no hidden meanings:

1. I turned 34 on the 15th of July – 9 days after a small person was yanked from my insides and therefore it has taken me one fuzzy month to get my act together enough to put it down in the blog I started for that very purpose. To mark my years.
2. I was going to write / publish this post by the 15th of August 2009. Of course I began and other demands caused the draft button to be pressed.
3. My birthday gifts included some amazing musk lotion and foot balm from Laline, another bookshelf (finally) and mastitis. The last gift was painful as hell and proves that the baby is cute for a reason.
4. It also meant that most of my day was spent with 103 fever, under the blanket and topped up with a trip to our local GP to get antibiotics.
5. The antibiotics make it to the top of the list of most wanted.
6. Super dinner of goulash and tagliatelle conjured up by my mother to end eventful-uneventful birthday.
7. My parents were in town for 5 weeks. And then they left. We survived a week on our own (yes I know most people manage on their own ALWAYS – I am not one of them). Now V’s folks are in town. Both times we have had incredible menus to keep our tummies warm. Lucky us.
8. GOD’s (Grandparents on Duty) are a wonderful support system and something that not living in India has taken away from us (or is that us taken away from it?). I escaped for the odd hot chocolate and spot of retail therapy while they were around.
9. After all these years it’s no longer an immediate fit for anyone. Parents have their way of doing things in their homes and then we bring them here and demand they do things our way. Add hormones into that mix and I make for a horrid host. I apologise unreservedly.
10. Of course they were superstars, taking him when I needed to nap, burping him when I was at the end of my tether and generally providing the boosting moral support and motivational speeches of what a good job we are doing (not).
11. My mum wandered around with bowls of fruit, cups of milk and biscuits trying to stuff the abovementioned into my mouth while my hands were otherwise occupied. Annoying but clearly necessary.
12. She also massaged my swollen feet with soothing salves each night. For this I and my feet are eternally grateful.
13. My aunt came and stayed a few days before and then after, bookends to her big Russian holiday. Along with my mum she had plenty of wonderful advice and a pair of helping hands that left us a freezer of sambhar.
14. My mum added to this a week of dinners before she left – high protein and highly tasty non-vegetarian delights. It made our in-between week much simpler being able to just defrost and eat with rice/ roti/ bread.
15. My cousin (very same aunt’s son) came to on holiday (so convenient) to London after the Moscow leg. I saw my adorable niece and nephew (him for the first time) when they came to see the baby.
16. My 6 year old niece wanted to know why there weren’t two babies (crossed wires in a child’s mind) and where was the lip balm?!. And my nephew told me all about his holiday where he had seen nothing, done nothing, except ‘walking’. For a 4 year old I guess pounding the pavements of London all day long was the highlight – oh, and also going on a boat. Adorable.
17. In-laws are now in residence. It’s the month of vegetarianism.
18. I have given up television. Or rather it has given me up. With so many people wanting a share of screen time getting ones hands on the remote is like stealing the Kohinoor diamond. It requires getting past an intricate guard system of relatives. Without hurting anyone.
19. I want a television on my bedroom wall. And yes I know it’s not good for us. I also know it’ll never happen. But a want is a want.
20. I shall have to catch up on Law & Order in its many versions as a box set.
21. I borrowed a box set from friends to watch during the first days on my maternity leave. It’s taken me over two months to get through the fantastic ‘The Wire’. And with the best will in the world I’m still not done.
22. I have lost all touch with the news and my obsession with the weather has all but disappeared. Seeing as I may never leave the house again thanks to an unpredictable routine does it really matter if it’s raining or sunny?
23. On the other hand I am reading with speed bordering on conorde-ish (yes, that isn’t a word, yet seeing as this is my blog I am allowed to make it up). I am loving living in a world of fiction, all history, magic and make-believe
24. I am counting on the Economist to keep me up to speed with world affairs.
25. I am officially a professional at multi-tasking. I can read, feed, and sing a lullaby all simultaneously. In the middle of the night.
26. Maybe I should / could join something as a logistics officer.
27. What I cannot do is fall back to sleep instantly. I have never been able to sleep without reading and this habit of old persists. This is a problem for my sleep deprived day persona. What it means is that I am reading swathes of books by lamplight each night. I have at least 10 I could cogently review. Should I?
28. We got 15 cards to congratulate us on the arrival of the baby. I got 1 birthday card and most of my friends forgot. Oh well, I guess it (and I) are getting old.
29. There is to be no more baby talk on this blog. I am not and never will be a mother blogger. There are those better suited to gushing about their children and spouting advice. I hope to glean some of it from them, ignore the sanctimonious others and muddle my way through motherhood thank you very much. For my friends in London who live on the other end of the phone and regale me with news of the outside world – thank you. You make my London life brighter and better each day.
30. Even though my ventures out are limited the glass walls of the house decide my mood each day. The weather outside our windows is undecided. Some days it’s all rainy and others all bright. Summer is almost at its end and it never truly got here.
31. Our new laptop arrived. I got a skype account. The laptop keypad has a fault and does not yet work. We are still stuck with our 17th century old-timer. And no skype.
32. I am obsessed by chinese food. Particularly fried noodles with beansprouts.
33. And Green and Blacks chocolate ice cream. Which I can shamefully admit I will go and have 2 tablespoonfuls of in the middle of each night without an iota of remorse.
34. I’m undecided how I feel about 34. It comes with a whole lot more baggage and responsibility. And my mind is befuddled with all the trivial day to day chores at the moment. What I do know is that no matter what life throws at me I am a year richer and more ready than ever to face it.

Revolting appliances, reading books

Thanks for nothing internet. I am having to re-type the whole of the post that I wrote last weekend. Boring.

All the household appliances are revolting. Going on strike a la London style - one by one. The washing machine went first. It refused to dry anything or even remove the excess water. So every morning we had to wring out sopping wet clothes and hang them up on our rickety over the tub stand. Then in a moment of early returned home panic I dropped a glass of water on the laptop rendering the ‘c’ key and one of the ‘ctrl’ keys useless. So now I have to type everything in word and paste ‘c’s into it before transferring it to its rightful place.

So we got a new washing machine (requiring a third mortgage) and of course we had not bargained for the integrated-ness of our kitchen so we had to return it and buy a yet more expensive one to fit our kitchen. It worked fine till one night last week it suddenly went off its rails (literally) and threatened to take off, the sound was so deafening, with all of us suddenly jumping out of bed in a panic. Emergency switching off and call to the installer next morning determined that the level of the floor the machine was off/ uneven and the sole cause of the sound/ jumping. The dude came and fixed it and it worked for 2 washes. As of 3 nights ago it is back to its old tricks, this new machine. The guy has readjusted it. And when it happens again we have a plan to rectify it that is more permanent.

We also ordered a new laptop. Ours was on its last legs before I dropped the glass of water on it - although that is not a good enough reason to christen it with water. It’s mouse pad temperamental, the contrast on the screen fluctuating, the memory and speed too low; 6 years having served us well it is ready to retire. So my days are spent waiting at home patiently for things to be delivered/ fixed etc.

In other news, it took me 12 days from the 6th of July to finish 1 book. An all time slow-ness record, but with good reason. The book was ‘The Associate’ by John Grisham, a man whose book redefined legal fiction in my youth. The book was good to start with, the story following a law student into his first job at a big Manhattan firm, egged on by blackmail for a college indiscretion. The blackmailers want inside information on a lawsuit that that firm is pursuing, something big and involving defence equipment. The process is long and arduous and he flits with the ethical dilemma of betrayal and pursues his own methods of finding out about his blackmailers, finding a way out of this safely. While the writing is good, it lacked the lustre of his earlier novels. It sped along and then slowed and then sped, threading stories of people around him, his father, colleagues, roommates from college, to make up the numbers and provide adequate background. Sadly it ended badly – very up in the air, with some FBI involvement but no real conclusions. It’s all left to your imagination and random options. The abrupt end left me very disappointed. I shall have to re-read one of his earlier books to persuade myself to buy his next book.

Since then the speed of reading has picked up and I finished Testimony by Anita Shreve (very well written, worth the effort) and am now onto the ‘The Senator’s Wife’ by Sue Miller (so far so average). More book reviews seem to be the order of the day…..

Paste?

I used to be able to write in word do_uments and then paste stuff into blogger. No more apparently. As half the keys on my laptop are not working this is imperative now to be able to write anything of substan_e. Any ideas on how I paste stuff into blogger? Or is this the end of the road....

The world this week...

...has changed in this 30s household beyond all recognition.

30in2005 and V had a baby boy on the 6th of July 2009.

We are both completely in awe and totally exhausted...

See you later alligators!