This last day of 2013

If anything I'd say this has been a mixed year. I've had a lot more on the mind than is healthy I think and the continued silence on this blog from commenters has meant that I haven't used it as much of an outlet. As much as this full year in Singapore has been lovely what with the hot weather and all it's been a difficult year for me. V and Kid have had an easier time of it I think - or they are better at hiding or processing how they feel - and maybe that is a gender thing. Either way I'm the only one that is feeling this angst so very loudly. 

I have spent a lot of the year feeling misplaced (and no not from London but from Life) and caught up in self pity and what-if cycles. I suspect a lot of it comes from finding my feet in a new place, inching my way steadily towards 40 and a completely different way of life that I wasn't quite expecting. I find myself often having a mini pity party - I guess the luxury of not having to work or think about basics means that I have the mind space to wallow and think about a variety of non essential things like feelings/ responsibilities etc. and that is a problem. 2014 promises to be busier and take care of some of this Time. 

I find it hard to talk about what's on my mind. This inspite of a plethora of close and wonderful family and friends. What can I say, it's not them, it's me. I can't see that that will change in 2014 but it's lovely knowing that there is a world of people who have my back. 

I wish I could say I've resolved a lot of this but the truth is that I have dealt with some and the rest is with me probably simmering in my mind just waiting to jump out one evening. In truth I have more to be thankful for than I ever give credit for. And beside my eternal resolution of de-cluttering I want to note here that my resolution for 2014 is to be more thankful and count my blessings instead of merely counting my grouses. 

I hope you have a wonderful New Year whatever you choose to do. More than anything I hope that the celebration of this night carries on into your lives and mine. 

P.S: The birds are from the end of the buffet bar at the Taj Samudra Colombo coffee shop from the holiday we are just back from. Simple and so elegant.