Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Expectations 09

So its 2009 already, and despite every intention of shutting ze blog down, here I am, glutton for punishment and stubborn assed as ever, writing crap even I don’t want to read anymore. My own expectations from this blog have changed tremendously since I began. I initially intended it to be my letter home. But secretly, like every writer out there, somewhere in those first few weeks of writing I fancied myself as the next published Author. I roller coastered with that idea for ages - giving up the thought, then re-invigorated by a random comment, then giving up again. etc etc etc. There was superlative stuff everywhere out there. And I’m way too lazy to boot – as missing pictures and empty promises to the web are testimony to.

It became, clearly, about writing for the sake of recording what I was doing with life in the run up to and in these speedily passing by thirties. And in some part keeping the folks and friends clued up with what was on in my life. The friends all lost the url and quickly moved to that evil evil Facebook. It would seem no one wants a constant update of friends they haven’t met in 10 years - I think I am the same as I just deleted this long rambling update email from a long not seen friend. Just a status bar on facebook is enough – where I went for dinner, what books I read are all too much information in this faster than you can blink life. Yada yada yada. I don’t blame them. I too have been coerced onto the evil side although the rarely updated status bar and other networking sites before it just don’t cut it for me.

In addition to real life friends from yore, I inherited a few blog people who would leave me encouraging remarks and the odd disagreement to chew on. Some of them even became real life acquaintances and A-class friends. I think I’ll more than live.

It was sometime last year I think I realized that I was no longer writing it for the benefit of my folks as they never seemed to have the time to read it consistently or could not find the url when they did have the time and access. They never once left me a comment unless under coercion or mentioned anything in our conversations in all this time, unless I initiated a ‘did you read what I wrote?’. I assumed many a time that my ramblings had gone too wide and too long. But like an addict I still could not stop.

I still cannot stop. Last year for the first time I was sorely tempted to just delete this blog and get a real life or an alternate really anonymous blog. But each time (twice) that I have come to do it I find I cannot bring myself to destroy what (I feel) I have lovingly nurtured all this time. Or to begin elsewhere – too tedious a job for the perennially lazy, no? It’s as if my brown thumb is turning a tentative green and I cannot possibly discard the sad sad nearly dead fungus laden plant. I think this blog is here to stay. Although, really, I’m not sure. Maybe a new properly anonymous blog which nobody who reads this knows about, will help me get out of this funk. After all many of my favourites no longer write, so why should I? Maybe its time to be a new avatar. Or maybe not. The jury is still out.

Happy new year peeps. See you when I see you. If I’m back that is.

14 comments:

  1. paagal hai kya? don't delete this blog. don't stop writing. it's 2009 - which means you have to do as I say.

    didn't you get the memo?

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  2. Anonymous9:35 PM

    hello???? am i not "my folks"...40in2006

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  3. move to wordpress! it's much sunnier here!

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  4. I second Broom! (bar the memo thing mentioned) If you dont write about your trips, who will I be jealous of? :)

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  5. Anonymous12:33 AM

    DO NOT DELETE!!! and whether you do realize this or not I DO read your blog whenever you update it

    N

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  6. Your folks seem to be proving they are reading it-
    Hate facebook and Ilike the fact one knows what you are up to through your blog.

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  7. Not really joining the chorus, because I don't think I'll need to. Let's blame this post on too much champagne on new year's eve :-)

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  8. Anonymous5:47 AM

    I think so u should let it going I mean the blog...
    People do read it and get inspired as far as the southern part of US.

    One of my favourite was the drama in UP with the car accident and the food ones.
    The lapaz pic of food was surely tempting and so on.

    My 2 cents say tht it should continue but !!

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  9. Whenever you get the urge to delete the blog, stay off it. We do read your posts.

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  10. Chips8:43 PM

    Hope you wont shut down this blog. You'll leave many readers disappointed.

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  11. Nahiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnn...
    Please dont stop, I love love reading your blog...Move to WP if you have to but please don't stop writing.

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  12. Sapna8:14 AM

    I've really enjoyed reading your blog as clearly many others have too. Think long and hard before making this crucial decision....

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  13. so glad you are writing again! don't even think of stopping.

    Now off to read your new posts!

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