Bring out the candles

Always remember this: New flat things are never as simple as you’d imagine or hope.

I keep forgetting it. So now I'm saying it as a mantra to keep my head from exploding.

On our furniture and fixture list, beside the lighting fixtures row, scrawled in black pen: All light fittings to be removed and only bare wires left. Let me stop you right there. Leaving bare wires is definitely not THE problem, seeing as Vendor man had hideous UFO-like acrylic lamps hanging about 3 feet down into the room from the ceiling. In multiple places. Removing said space-ships to his new abode is doing us a favour more than anything – we’re saving hundreds in doctor’s bills by not being blinded by his bilious lights.

The problem is getting new lights sorted.

After much discussion V and I decided that the simplest best option would be rows of spotlights. We would buy them, electrician would fit them, light would shine, Ta-da!!!

Vendor man kindly gave us the name of his electrics and do-it-all guy with the warning that pinning him down to a time on the day ‘might be a problem’. The advice was ‘Just be firm’. So I call Ricky.

Me: Hi. I got your reference from RJP in Flat4. He says you very efficiently sorted out his electrics.

Ricky: Yeah.

Silence

Me: So we are now moving to his flat and he is taking all his fittings. We were thinking of putting in some spotlights throughout the house. When is the earliest you think you can do this and can you possibly give us a quote?

Silence

Ricky: Well, Let’s see. I have 10 chaps but……(silence)…..we’re mostly booked up. This is July. Almost August.

Me: So what’s the earliest you CAN do?

Ricky: Time is flying past, ain’t it? Soon it’ll be September.

Me (getting more high-pitched with every minute): So then, when is the earliest you can do this? Or just even give us a quote?

Ricky: That’ll be end of November. Sorry Mate.

As of next Thursday we will be living in darkness.