Before we got the guard we did it all ourselves.
Top to bottom, spic and span; it took two of us a bit of everyday all working week and all of saturday.
Then she arrived and it took us ages to get used to her efficient ways, her whirlwind that left us neat as pins in a mere 3 hours a week.
Murphys Law: Now we are used to it and loving it, the Guard is gone.
For a year and a half she gaurded us
against dusty furniture and cobwebs that dared be spun
against muddy unvaccumed floors
against unscrubbed counter-tops
against waiting for winter until we could legimitely hide our unironed clothes under bulky coats
against a sink full of dirty dishes
against over-flowing bins and unending circles of laundry
against windows through which the views are a pure unadulterated brown
against ultimate Health & Safety iregularities in housekeeping that would cause us to be shut down
Gone after getting me used to her weekly whirlwind of efficiency.
And now I sit here with a concertina of un-ironed clothes sprawled across my bed wondering how long I can put off the inevitable.
I am the new guard.